This is the second part of Prayer: The Ark and Oak In My Life. When life happened I prayed. So fam what do you do when you pray, but it doesn’t stop raining? It floods! The only way to survive in water is to float. I was too heavy to do that. I needed not just floaters, but an ark.
I will not lie to you and tell you that at the sight of trouble I went down on my knees. No I fought trouble! I suited up and went to battle for my life! I faced every single problem head on. Hell had nothing on me when it come to furry. I was the epitome of a black mad woman!
Ater’s Waters
Moving into the city, Nairobi, I was working along Mombasa Road and living along Thika Super Highway. Daily I had to transverse the city! Daily I had to go home with my man by my side! I saw that smile 🙄 so don’t even start with me! I didn’t know or so I thought I knew😉
I had become distant with some of my close ghels. One of the main reasons being at that point in time with life shift; I knew I was settling down in my life. I needed every puzzle to fall in place low key style, then later blow the trumpet. Meaning I had no one to talk to other than mom.
I have a bond with my mom that I truly thank God for. This bond is weighty sometimes because her pain becomes my pain and vise versa. My shift from a city to the city somehow completely unconsciously tore us apart inwardly. We could no longer hold each other. Look into each other eyes and know when either of us was in pain. Our it system crumbled when we both would need it the most!
Other than the annoying traffic, life’s ups and downs and the relentless discomfort of bad tidings: I wasn’t going to go down easy. I fought for my desire to be loved. I fought to get to work every day on time and leave on time. I fought to make my house a home. I fought to make my ghels proud and jealous 😜 and most of all I fought to tell my mom the lie-truth.
When Prayer Become The Ark!
Did I mention earlier that throughout my fighting I wasn’t praying. I guess not. Through it all I forgot about he wall hanging in our sitting room back in a city.
PRAYER CHANGES THINGS: ASK GOD.
And so the flooding engulfed me! If I wasn’t bitter, I was angry. If not mad I was sad. Every little spark of joy had it’s dark cloud. Suddenly names like ‘petty’, ‘outcast’, ’emotional’, ‘unhinged’, ‘secretive’, ‘withdrawn’, ‘dramatic’, ‘not connected enough’, ‘not dressed right’, ‘stupid’, ‘unwanted’, ‘not welcomed’ and ‘not part of..’ become common. Phrases like ‘move on’, ‘you did the right thing, but the wrong place’, ‘you are right to want it, but wrong to demand it’, ‘this isn’t your family, but you are welcomed to stay if …’, ‘this isn’t your home go build yours’, were often said in my ears.
Death doesn’t seem like the answer but it surely seems peaceful!
My thoughts!
The Oak Within The Ark!
I was tired! I was done! This was it! I needed more and so I prayed! Nothing changed No! No! mmhhh that’s when sh!t got real real fast! You think I had been through it nope! It just started pouring! Funnily I had the strength to celebrate any occasion that needed celebrating😎
I don’t know what God protected me from: because it was still pouring around me. The storms were raging and thunder stroke, but I was still in it! Then I realized that even though my world seems to be wiped out, I was afloat! I was inside the ark…. The ark then hit something and then there was a crack!
In the darkness of the ark, an oak’s seed had found some light (prayer). There was enough oxygen to sustain it ( my moms love and support). Water was coming through the cracks (my problems never went away). My hot temper regularly regulated by the problems I faced; gave the right temperature for the seed to start the process of germination. Prayer ignited the oak in me.
